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Love + Hate Relationships

June 13, 2010

I think I have a love-hate relationship with blogging. I love taking the time to reflect on life, creatively communicating with others, and the power of sharing story. But why in the world do I not do this more often? I think it must be like exercise. We know it is good for us, we always feel better afterward, it is best as a daily routine and there are long term benefits. Uh…I’m the freak who is much better at exercising than sitting down and writing. I guess I’ve always liked to be different.


So here I am. How about a June 13th resolution? Daily blogs? Weekly….? Bi-weekly?


I unfortunately never matured passed the “rewards system.” If I knew I was going to be graded on this, I would be way more motivated. That sure is humbling to say, but hopefully I’m growing up and moving passed the “need to achieve.” I kind of hate it when I have self realizations that are such “DUH’s.” I’m sure it is no surprise to anyone who has spent more than a week with me that I have an unyielding drive to succeed. In school success = A’s. But now that I’ve moved passed school into the “real world” where success can be defined in so, so many different ways. I pray that by God’s grace and in His wisdom “success” will be redefined in my life. Or maybe it does not need a different definition, but I need a renewed perspective. Maybe I need to realize that I won’t succeed. I cannot succeed, but I can rest in the peace of His grace. Rest in the truth of His word that these successes and failures can both be used for His glory and He works them out for my good. It relieves some of the pressure not to fail, but makes me want to please a loving God all the more. May the journey of my life and the goals I set for myself (even small ones like blogging) all be done out of love.


(Maybe this is why I don’t blog more often, because I can’t help but go deep. I can’t help but write for forever.)


Ok–time to update you on life! I’ve been working for just over two weeks now. We had six interns start on Monday so our staff has now gone from 6 to 12! I must say, I really enjoy my coworkers. I spent last week going to coffee or lunch with each of them partly to get to know each individual and partly to understand the organization. I of course got to experience some of DC food (I kind of want to get a second job just so I can eat at more places…but then I start missing cooking/baking…there’s really no win-win in this situation unless I just take up eating as a full-time job, which unfortunately I would not get paid for).


Work is great! I get up early in the mornings, have my alone time, drink a little coffee (which I’m trying to wean myself off of), go for a run near the Capitol Building. I then take an 18 minute Metro ride to busy K street, work on the 5th floor with a bunch of other non-profits. It is different every day, it is great.


Last weekend my friend Leah, who lives outside of Baltimore, came down to DC for the weekend. We went to some local restaurants, hung out in Georgetown–which is incredible. I bought two books of quotes to decorate my room and future apartment. One titled “Love Life” and the other “Happily Grateful.” Love them! I had my first free facial and make-up done at Sephora. It was fun. But I am definitely reminded that I am a girl that likes things simple. I got my hair cut by a man who is from Italy, spent part of his life working in high fashion, has lived in DC for 20 years with his family. He complained about how they have “trash magazines” now, as the younger community has grown. What a sad and poor reflection of my generation.


We then headed to Annapolis, home of the Naval academy. It is so beautiful there. It is difficult for me to spent just a couple hours in one place, I want the time to explore, to really soak it all in. In fact, Faith, the woman who I am renting from just got back from a lecture cruise along the Caribbean. She spent two weeks going to all these different places accompanied by someone who lectured on the history, culture, art, music, etc. I have decided that I would like to do that for everything. If someone could just hire me a personal lecturer to go everywhere with me I would be so content. If I can travel and eat and learn and write I think that may be bliss. (Maybe I am learning what I really love…).


New goal for life: meet someone that knows everything about everywhere and travel with them.


This weekend I went up to Maryland Friday night on a Marc train (another new experience), for Leah’s Birthday party. I spent Friday night with Leah, Ben, and his six-year-old, Zack. We had a BBQ for Leah’s Birthday Saturday night at this beautiful national park–talk about incredible forest. I really do have the best of both worlds here: beautiful landscapes and the city, but I a missing the mountains. My mom graciously e-mailed me pictures of the mountains this morning–the woman knows the way to my heart (maybe a tad manipulative…!)


Here I am in a coffee shop, Sunday morning. Sipping on an iced coffee (I said I am in the process of weaning myself off…), clearly on the love side of my love-hate relationship with the blog, I am planning out my day. From here I will go get some produce at the market, visit one of the interns who is with her brother selling his art at Eastern Market. I will grab some lunch back at the house and then I am planning to head to the Smithsonian National Museum of American History. I am then going to visit a new church this evening with my boss and her fiance. I am pretty excited. I just wish I had more hours in a day. But I am content, I feel so blessed. Reflection is good for my heart, but not so good for my mascara :)


Missing Oregon, but grateful for the life I am living. I will try to take more pictures as well, because this blog is a whole lot of words. There’s so much more I want to share. From here on out–shorter, more frequent blogs. A little accountability may be necessary for this love-hate relationship to succeed.


While we’re at it, I’ll just add a list of the simple things I love, and a few things I’ve realized I hate while living in DC:


I love…

Mornings (Morning coffee, morning jogs, morning Psalms, morning granola…)

Morning coffee with my parents

Going to the market to pick up some fruit

Toms shoes

Walking everywhere

Baking

Chalkboards

Smilie faces in a text message

Orange (Red & Yellow)

Water bottles

Chocolate + Ice Cream

Eating out of a mug

Large oak trees

Ephesians 5:1-2

Deep conversations

Walking

Mountains

My MacBook Pro

Campfires

Bookshelves (filled with books, of course–I really want a wall that is a bookshelf)

The smell of rain in Central Oregon

Getting caught in a warm downpour

CS Lewis


Things I’m not a fan of…

Sales tax

Looking like I’m “not from around here”

Not being able to go certain places because I’m alone

Failure

Money

Apathy


And for now my list of “loves” is much longer than my list of “hates.” Today is a good day!

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From → Reflecting

One Comment
  1. Em – this is so great! I love hearing about what you are doing in this amazing opportunity God literally dropped in your lap! :) Plus, your blogs are really encouraging!!

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